Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21
I'm a planner. I often plan my day, weeks, & the next month for things that need done or appointments to keep. I think I'm flexible, but I've come to realize that I do prefer a planned day - even if the plan for the day is to do nothing. The problem lately with my plans is that God has had other plans.
Friday, December 10th, Todd, Mattye & myself were on our way to Todd's company Christmas dinner. Mom telephoned to say they were admitting her to the hospital due to extreme pain. The thought to make a quick trip to Indiana over the weekend was surpressed by the blizzard like conditions predicted by the local weather & coming in the next day. The blizzard blew in with a fury on Saturday. We received a tearful phone call on Sunday saying that I should probably try to get to Indiana. Late Sunday afternoon, we were replacing tires on my car and preparing it for travel. Laundry was completed & things were ready for me to leave Monday morning after taking Mattye to school.
I arrived in Lafayette, Indiana, Monday, December 13th, to find my mom no longer in pain, but so loaded on pain medications that I don't believe she recognized me. The plan was to discharge her the next day to come home with Hospice Care. Tuesday morning began with delivery of a hospital bed, my running errands for her husband, Rick, and eventually mom arriving home via ambulance shortly after lunch. Then began a flurry of home nurse visits, nurse aid visits to bathe and provide personal care, social worker visits, and many gracious friends stopping by to bring food and love on mom and Rick.
Medications have been adjusted and mom now has a better awareness but is often easily confused. It's hard to know if it is the cancer that is causing this, the continual medication, or a combination of both. We have adjusted to the routine of a visiting nurse 3 times a week and an aid visiting the same days, but different times. Monday, Wednesday, & Friday are big days for mom. We rest when we can, turn off phones for quiet, & watch a lot of HGTV and Food Network!
Our plans for Christmas were changed, but we were still all together. We cancelled Jessi's flight to Iowa & she came to stay with me at mom's as soon as she was done at Ball State for the semester on December 17th. Todd rearranged his vacation time & took off the week of Christmas, one week earlier than planned. Mattye's school was more than generous & allowed her to skip the finals before the Christmas break. She will return and take them after the new year. Todd and Mattye arrived on December 18th. A bonus about being in Indiana allowed us to spend time with Jerod on Christmas.
For now, we enjoy the good days & endure the not so good days. Mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer in November 1991. She has had traditional chemotheraphy, radiation, and has been a part of clinical trials. She has no idea how many women's lives she will change from her fight. A friend of mom's told me that my mom has been her hero as she has battled cancer too. Other friends say what an inspiration she is to them. To say she is a fighter is an understatement since she was given a prognosis of 2 years when diagnosed. She has fought for 9 years. We often never know how many people we change through our actions, words, and how we live.
As this week begins, Todd has returned to work in Iowa. Jessi will be leaving today to head back to Muncie. Mattye & I are planning to return to Iowa at the end of the week. I'm torn between staying to help & returning to maintain some sense of normal for our home. I've struggled with this decision, but have peace in knowing that my visit has been a good one with mom & family. I'll begin planing my next visit as soon as this one ends.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
I don't know about you, but I'm glad to have this past week behind me. Since we've moved we've had car problems with both cars. I picked up my car last week and paid once again for a repair. We've spent $700 on vehicle repairs in less than a month. Ouch! We've driven through car dealerships looking at other cars, but that's a double ouch! It's been a bad week financially.
Jerod has spent his first week here. He has been working part-time and applying for full time jobs. He's been very blessed to have had an interview already and another one set up for first thing Monday morning with prominent companies in decent paying jobs. However, he doesn't want to be in Iowa. It's been a hard week.
I wasn't thinking I would apply for jobs until after the first of the year. While looking for openings for Jerod, I was finding some jobs that was interesting to me. So I have applied for about 7 to see what would happen. In one day, I got 5 "dings". 3 jobs had been filled internally, 1 job I didn't qualify, and 1 place chose not to interview me - and that's what they told me. That was all in one day. It's been a hard week.
Todd traveled this past week for the first time since we arrived in Iowa. Not having him accessible to talk was difficult. I missed my sounding board and our laughter. I did sleep really well though! :-) With the rejection and tension, I needed him more this week than any other since we arrived. It's been a hard week.
We attended some open houses this weekend. We toured a home that we thought we could live in. Then I slept on it - tossing & turning all night. Today I announced upon waking - "I'm done with that house." We would have been compromising some features we were wanting in a new home and, more importantly, spending more money than we initially said we would spend. Thank God for the trials of previous homeownership to allow us to have some clarity when deciding on a new home.
Church this morning was a reminder to pray for God's will to be done. I think this week has been some selfish praying or no praying at times. Small group this evening was confirmation that many of us had a bad week. We were able to discuss freely that as believers, nothing can separate us from the love of God. We let situations and things get in our way of our love for Him......like a bad week. Thank God for our new church & small group family.
Tonight I close prayfully - Lord, thank you for your wisdom. May your will be done in our lives, in our friends new and old, and in our family. May we all have a week of focusing on you and not our situations. Count it all joy!